ONLINE DATING AND FAKE MONEY LAUNDERING

Online Dating Sites and Fake Scam Money Laundering Syndicates: I would like to share once more ANOTHER DISCOVERY Regarding Online Dating Sites. Recently I joined another Dating Site Called Badoo. Copy and Paste like Netlog. They both are full of FAKE People. Indeed I was playing with My BlackBerry Phone beginning of March 2013, when I came Along at this Badoo App. I then decided to download the App and Testing it Out since it Mentioned about “Making New Friends”. The First Week I received a number of “Interested Male Friends”. They All Apparently Liked My Profile and Profile Picture. 80% of them eventually “Fall In Love” with me! I just decided TO PLAY ALONG and entertain them just TO SEE THEIR INTENTIONS! They All Started and Asked Me Exactly The Same Questions: 1. What are you actually looking for at this Site? 2. How long have you been on this Site? 3. Did you ever TRY DATING on this Site? 4. Tell Me More About Yourself. 5. Almost 90% got Interested in My Job once they heard I was Working In the Finance Division, some even asked My Salary wow Unbelievable! I told them all that “I joined this Site for the Sole Purpose TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS” and that I Believe in Freedom of Association. Thus No Need to Explain WHY I JOINED Badoo! Then I Met this Fake Guy from USA telling me he is Head Over Heels In Love with me. He asked for my phone number and started calling me regularly. Very Much In Love and even promised TO MARRY ME! The Second Week in March 2013 he told me about his Only Son which “WAS VERY SICK” doing some Missionary Work in NIGERIA, Africa. Immediately I became Alert and Vigilant. AGAIN NIGERIA just like in Netlog! He told me that he received some phone calls from the Doctor Treating his Son in the Hospital in Nigeria. Informing him that the Condition was “Very Serious AND THAT HE HAD To Travel to NIGERIA”, thus Needed Some FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE from me! He told me he spent all his money on his Businesses, thus in Urgent Need of Money to Fly to NIGERIA to check on his Dying Son. I told him unfortunately I don’t have money to assisted him. He then kept on Pressurizing me to Make Any Plan to Raised Some Funds, because the boy is also now my New Stepson! Then for ONE WEEK He kept On Ignoring Me very much Upset for My Failure in Providing Money to him. The Next Week I Contacted him AND THIS WAS HIS RUDE REPLY TO ME! Gone were the so-called Undying Love he had for me. Wow! Quoted: Lengthy Conversation, but to show to My Readers How Crooked this Online Money Laundering Guys can be, so please bear with me. “Hey Lady, you don’t know what I am going through okay, my house is on loan and my cars too. You know i need money for my son sickness and you there telling me you are in the hospital with bronchitis. What are you going to do to help me since my whole properties is on loan because i have no help. You make me sad always okay. You tell me things i don’t like to hear. Why are you giving me stress up on the stress I am on?. So I feel the only way to stop our Relationship is by ignoring you. You are not A Good Wife to have okay, your just self-centered okay! Wow Unbelievable! Then I Confronted him as follows and he Remained SILENT UNTIL TODAY! “The last time I remembered you told me you arrived at the hospital in Nigeria, but NEVER TOLD ME About the CONDITION of your Son. You just told me you want to take him back home to get better Treatment in USA. The Next Day you told me you lost your Purse on the Airport and the Securities and Police were looking for it. The Next day you told me you have nothing to eat and the Hotel might throw you out for Non-Payment. Then you told me your Phone also got lost together with your Purse, so I don’t know how you managed to call me that day if your phone were lost in a Foreign Country Nigeria; but you’re online all the time day and night?” “When I asked you whether you managed to contact the American Embassy and the Red Cross in Nigeria to Assist you, you get Angry and shouted at me “HEY you wanna tell me my job?” Wow is this how you Treat a Woman trying to Morally Supporting you? So up to now I don’t know whether you are still in the Hotel or on Street or even having something to eat. You told me that the Securities saw Two Men on Camera but up to know I don’t know whether you got your lost PURSE and STOLEN PHONE back or not. I asked you whether you bought A Return Ticket back home, you said YES. So WHAT IS YOUR ACTUAL PROBLEM NOW! You also told me you Raised Enough Funds to take your Son back home with you. I THOUGHT THAT PROBLEM WAS SOLVED! Only the Pending Problem with your Missing Purse and STOLEN PHONE. Nothing To eat and paying of Hotel Bills that’s what you told me the last time on SKYPE! Now today you are Again Back to your Sick Son Story? Honestly I am totally Lost NOW! You told me the last Time on Phone I AM GOING MAD HERE Honey please I have nothing to eat and the Hotel to pay. I don’t know what to do My Princess. Still I can’t Understand. You are 24/7 ONLINE but your PHONE AND PURSE both GOT LOST? Where did you get Internet Access from in Nigeria Africa if you don’t have practically something to eat?” No Response from him Untill today. How Stupid did he think I was to fall for all his Lies and Stories, even at many times Contradicting themselves? Never Judge A Book By Its Cover! Rather Read the Book and Get Used with Its Content before Judging. My Profile On BADOO and All Over Clearly Stated: “I AM A VERY INTELLIGENT, OBSERVANT And ANALYSING Woman.” What also triggers me is exactly like those Fake Guys On Netlog. How can you just met A Stranger for one or two weeks and start asking Monetary Assistance, even ending up screaming yelling insulting the Person because they can’t send you money? VERY IMMATURED and IMPROPER CONDUCT. After two weeks All My so-called Online Serious Relationships Died A Natural Death and the Men who were SO IN LOVE with me Disappeared into THIN AIR looking for the Next Innocent Victim or Start Ignoring me why? Am I Too Clever for them or they only Need Money from me? ALL ROADS LEADS TO ROME thy said! USA, UK, Ghana and Nigeria Proofed themselves The Master Mind Online Scam Gangsters in Money Laundering! My Advise to People Joining Online Dating Services: Be Vigilant at All Times for Tricks like this, Preventing Loosing Your Hard Earned Money!

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FUNNY JOKES

FUNNY JOKES: I would like to share some short, but funny jokes with my Readers. A. Intelligence Son: “Dad where did I get my Intelligence from?” Dad: “You probably got it from your Mom, because I still have mine!” Wow Lol poor Kid! B. Cancer A Man was dying of Cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS. His Son asked, ” Dad Why?” Dad, “So that when I am dead, no one will sleep with your Mom my Son!” Wow Lol poor Kid! C. Underwear A Lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her Maid in front of the Husband. Maid said, “Sir you are my Witness. You saw that when ever we are together, I never wear panties!” Wow Lol poor Man to be Embarrassed in front of his Wife for having an Affair with the Maid! D. Petrol Couple was busy making love forgetting to lock the door, so their 6-year-old catches them. Son asked his Father, “Dad What are you doing?” Father, “I am putting Petrol on your Mom my Son.” Son, “Haauu – Haau Which means Mom’s Engine is taking TOO MUCH PETROL, cause Mr Zwane has put in yesterday.” Mother Fainted! Wow Lol poor Unfaithful Wife! E. Cash Payment A Man went to The Pub with his Wife. When he left for the counter to buy drinks, A Prostitute approached his Wife and whispered. “You must DEMAND CASH before Sex. I know him, he doesn’t pay!” Wife Fainted in The Pub! Wow Lol poor Wife to realized her Husband is Cheating on her with Prostitutes! F. Court Case An 8-year-old Boy is accused of Rape! In Court his Lady Lawyer holds his private part out as EVIDENCE saying, “Your Honour see this, can he RAPE with his TINY TOT?” The Boy whispers, “Don’t shake it, we’ll LOSE THE CASE!” Wow Lol poor Magistrate! G. Jealous Husband A Man was so Jealous of his Newly Born Baby, that he put poison on the Wife’s nipples while she was asleep. The next day, their Driver died of poisoning since the Baby was not on Breastfeeding, but on Bottle! Wow Lol poor Man facing a Murder Case out of Jealousy!

APPOINTMENT OF SECRETARY

APPOINTMENT OF SECRETARY: I would like to share a very funny story with My Beloved Readers. A Man came home from work late and said to his Wife, “I have been given a Huge Promotion at Work, which means I get my Own Office and get to Employ My Own Secretary.” Wife says, “Well please find an UGLY SECRETARY, who doesn’t have a personal hygiene, smelly armpits and dresses like an Old Woman. I don’t want you choosing someone who you are going to be TEMPTED to have an Affair with!” “That’s Fair Enough”, the Man replied. Man looked at his Wife with a glimpse and asked: “When do you wanna start?” The Wife Fainted! Wow Lol poor Wife to be humiliated like that by her Own Husband!

MOBILE PHONE SERVICES

<a MOBILE PHONE SERVICES: I would like to share some Funny NAMES some SMART PARENTS gave their Children. Ever since Independence and Mobile Phone Services were introduced, some smart parents have named their children after some of the Terms used by Mobile Service Providers. According to Home Affairs Stats some of the children born from 1994 have the following names: Siemens Shidolo Motorola Ndakola Call Request Amakali Voicemail Nghiwa Simcard Shikukutu Phonebook Hishongwa Ringtone Nghitilasha Charger Mandume Air-time Taapopi Internet Shafimana Pay as you go Uahengo SMS Shivute Switchoff Kaulinge Wow Lol poor kids who have to grow up with such funny names!

PRAYER FOR SPECIAL NEEDS



PRAYER FOR SPECIAL NEEDS:

I would like to share a funny story with my Readers:

Sunday Morning A Preacher said, “Anyone with ‘Special Needs’ who wants to be Prayed Over, please come forward to the front of the Altar.”

With that, John got in line and when it was his turn the Preacher asked, “John, what do you want me to Pray about for you?”

John replied, “Preacher I need you to Pray for help with my HEARING.”

The Preacher put one finger of one hand in John’s ear, placed his other hand on top of John’s head, and then Prayed and Prayed and the entire Congregation joined in with much enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the Preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, “John, how is your HEARING now?”

John answered, ” I don’t know. My HEARING is only next week Thursday in Court.”

Wow Lol Poor Preacher and John misunderstood each other for PRAYING FOR HIS HEARING IN COURT!

Lessons Learned: Communication and Correct Interpretation is Very Important!

SYSTEM ERROR

 

SYSTEM ERROR!

I would like to share a funny joke with my Beloved Readers.

A Woman was having sex with her Lover in her Apartment, 20 storeys high. Suddenly she heard her Husband arrived.

She told the Lover,”Stay like a Statue and not to move”.

Husband: “Who is this?”

Wife: “This is a Robot i bought to have sex with me when you travel”.

Husband: “Ok let’s have sex now”.

Wife: ” No Sweetheart, I got my period. So I will go and make a cup of coffee for you”.

After she left the Husband said,”Damn it I am so horny. I will make love with the Robot although he is a male like me”.

He tried making love but the Lover started talking in a Robotic way,”SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE! SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE!”

Husband:  “Damn  Robot  is not working properly. I am throwing it out of the window”.

The Lover realised that he was on the 20th floor, so he said in a Robotic way,”SOFT WARE UPDATED, PLEASE TRY AGAIN!”

Lol Wow Poor Lover!

Lessons Learned: Never Cheat in any Relationship or Marriage!

 

 

NEW TEACHER’S FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL

New Teacher’s First Day At School.

I would like to share a funny story with my Beloved Readers.

Student: “Sir, if I Mix  and Surf, will there be Foam?”

Teacher: “Of course, there will be Foam! What A Stupid Question so early in the Morning?”

Student: Whispering to his Classmate, “We didn’t even Add Water, but THERE IS FOAM ALREADY!”

Classmate: ” We can prepare ourselves, because if the Teacher acts like this, we will All FAIL LIKE FLIES cause there is already FOAM!”

Wow Lol Poor Kids already in for big trouble!