BEST MARITAL JOKES

BEST MARITAL JOKES:

 

I would like to Share some Funny Marital Jokes with My Readers.

Marriage is a Ceremony in which Rings are put on the finger of the Lady and around the hands and feet of the Man.

Marriages are made in Heaven. But, again, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes and hail.

Marriage is A Ceremony that turns your Dreamboat into A Barge!

Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards!

If you want your Spouse to listen and pay Strict Attention to every Word you say, TALK IN YOUR SLEEP!

Sign in A Marriage Counselor’s window: “Out to Lunch – Please Think It Over.”

Man: “I want to give myself to you.”  Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept CHEAP GIFTS!”

Woman: “I am an Excellent Housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house!

Man: “Haven’t I seen you some place before?”   Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore!”

My Darling Wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of Rum, and so made sure that she would stay, in better spirits night and day.

I take My Wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back!

College is like A Woman. You work so hard to get in and nine months later, you wish you’d never come!

“Dad, I heard that in ancient China. A Man doesn’t know his Wife until he Marries.”  – “That happens everywhere , Son, everywhere!”

“I have been asked to get Married lots of times.”  Rae: “Who asked you?”   Mae: “Mom and Dad. Lots of times.”

It doesn’t matter how often A Married Man changes his Job, he still ends up with the SAME BOSS.   Wow  cause all Women are the same LOL

A Psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your Wife will give you FOR FREE!

I LOVE HER, BUT… My Wife’s Allergic to everything. Her nose is chronically stuffed. If I kissed her on the mouth, she’d suffocate.

I LOVE HER, BUT… counting My Wife  and our Teenage Girls, that’s Four Women. Somebody’s always got PMS!

Wow, Marriage  and all its Ups and Downs!  LOL

 

 

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